Hi, I’m not sure if you’re still posting on this blog and I’m not quite sure what happened to Emma’s blog?
I wanted to share a photo and discuss my relationship with my body. I started masturbating at a young age. I read a book that my mom had bought for me regarding puberty when I was in 5th grade. There was a section about sex, but it described what happens during sex. If I remember correctly it said, “the man and woman rub their bodies together and it is very exciting for both people.” I felt tingly down there and started touching myself. From there on out, I was rubbing them out any chance I could get. Unfortunately for me, I wandered into the world of porn. I still watch porn today, but because I imagine what is happening to the female is what is happening to me. It’s more of a sensation thing. When I watched porn as a young girl I started noticing all of these “perfect vaginas.” I didn’t even know the names for labia and clitoris so I did some research. I became convinced when I was in high school that I needed a labiaplasty for anyone to ever find me attractive or want to have sex with me. I dated my first boyfriend for three years and we broke up my sophomore year of college. Only toward the end of our relationship was I okay with him looking directly between my legs and only for a few seconds at a time. With my current boyfriend, I’m not afraid of anything. I’ve realized that every body is different and there’s no right or wrong. Of course I still have hints of insecurity every now and again, but for a 22 year old, I think I’ve made great progress in my emotional journey.
Thank you very much for sharing your experience here! I’m sure it will be helpful for many girls!